Readathon: Character face-off

I’m always stumped when there are questions about favourite books and characters and stuff, because… it’s kind of fluid stuff, to me, maybe? I always have to think hard.  Unless…

…Okay.  I know.  For the character face-off, these two will go to battle:

Greebo, Nanny Ogg’s cat (Terry Pratchett’s Discworld)

vs

Mister, Harry Dresden’s cat (Jim Butcher’s Dresden files)

See? I like cats. Cats are favourites, no matter the context.  These two are large cats.

Let’s have a look at them, then.

Contestant #1:  Greebo

WHO:  A cranky, grey, one-eyed tomcat.

Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

CONS: A certain inferiority complex regarding Granny Weatherwax’s white kitten.  Greebo might possibly be a demon, according to Nanny Ogg, but she will insist he’s just a sweet kitten, even so.

PROS: Due to a magic mishap, Greebo’s phenotype is unstable and he has morphed into a human on a few occasions. I don’t want to hang out with the human as much as I want to hang out with the cat, but he’s pretty awesome.

 

Contestant #2: Mister

WHO:  30 pounds of grey cat, adopted by the wizard Harry Dresden. Has no tail. Likes to smash his full weight against unsuspecting human knees.

CONS: Uh. For a while he had to tolerate sharing his domain with a large temple dog.  Also, not nearly enough stage time in the books.

PROS: When Harry Dresden uses his wizard’s sight on someone, he usually sees something very different from what normal sight would provide. However, Mister is unique: He is exactly the same no matter what sight is employed.    Also, he sometimes works as a vessel for Bob the spirit.

CATFIGHT!

Um, yeah.

WINNER:

You know what? NO ONE can win this.  If these cats were going to face off for some reason, and their humans found out? Those are crazy magic-wielding humans. It’d be instant apocalypse. Instant interdimensional or intergalactic apocalypse! (Depending on where exactly the Discworld is relating to Chicago, of course.)   Imagine those two armies – Mister, flanked by Harry Dresden and Karrin Murphy and vampires and council wizards and holy knights and probably mafioso Marcone for some reason,   facing off against Greebo, Nanny Ogg, and Granny Weatherwax, because Granny would come just to disapprove of things, and she would disapprove, and the world would END.

You know?

So let’s pretend the two megacats just for some reason shared a basked and some catnip instead, and spent the evening grooming each other lazily.  The real winner is the person who owns the youtube channel they’re on.

I could totally get hours of daydreams out of this.

(I grew up around cats like these. I was raised by a ginger-furred Greebo, who tried to kill me until he decided he could use me.  It was a happy relationship.  The current Mister in my life lives with my parents, is only about half the weight of Dresden’s cat, but that’s heavy enough to knock me over when he decides I’m the one person in the world who is considered headbuttable.  Okay. I just talked about cats. This keeps happening.)

 

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